So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
We were on a plane, I couldn't just grab his dick
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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