Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
My ex wife just asked to go over our divorce papers and for sex in the same text
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
