38 yer olds are good kisserssss
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Someone came in the potted fern
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
