Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
barbara walters just said penis...
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
