he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
For one week of my life every time I pull my cock out I want the Jurassic Park theme music to start playing.
Randomize
