Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I'm semi drunk. I just bought you penis moisturizer. Not kidding. Keep an eye out for the package. Merry Christmas.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
The fact that you walked around talking like Barbie and still got laid amazes me.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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