Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
Our DD will meet us there. The strippers are sending a limo to pick him up. He promised them New Years Eve massages. Said he would still drive us home.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
