He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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