Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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