I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
i'm not sure when i reached "slam my own hand in the door" status but my half attached fingernail is not grateful.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
