She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Randomize
