we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
