like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
