what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
