I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I remember nothing except the fact it happened and I ate doritos and we highfived a lot
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
