did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
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