the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
We're going to ride the bus of mixed signals all the way to unrequited love town and that's where I'm going to live my life and then die.
My history professo slid into my DMs. Granted I did give him “fuck me” eyes during a lecture a few times.
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
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