It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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