i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I saw your purple underwear in the road this morning.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Randomize
