Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
A+ Viking dick
I just found a live peacock hanging out behind the bar. I coerced it into my car and now I have a peacock bro that lives with me.
Randomize
