is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
