i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I just don't fit in here. The other wives are ten years older and have kids!
Well, you chose trophy wife of a 35 year old over college. Sit in your suburban soup and stew.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
