im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Randomize
