I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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