the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
To be clear, the next time I wake up with your dick inside me, I will reach down and grab one and squeeze until it pops like a grape. You've been warned.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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