There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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