12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
