Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
You have to summon your inner elephant
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
Randomize
