Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
