he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
