she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
Randomize
