i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
