My brain says no but my pants say off.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
