my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I just sent a dick pic to a number on Craigslist, this may be my new low
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
