508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
