are u sure the monkey wasnt drunk too
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
Randomize
