we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
