She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
I'm pretty sure we scarred one of our coworkers. This is the second time he has caught us both fully undressed and banging at work.
Either he has bad timing or he wants to join.
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
