Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I went to the gynecologist and they said, "you're the most fun person we've ever had," and i thought, "that's exactly why i'm here!"
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
