what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
