There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
pray to the hookup gods
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
So I was at my annual OBGYN appointment and when she saw the bruises on the inside of my thigh she asked if I had been horse back riding...I think my burst of laughter then awkward silence answered the question for me.
Randomize
