Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Randomize
