I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
This santa hat i wore to the bar, served it's dual purpose as a vomit bag.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
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