Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
ok... i just had to be reminded that people in animal costumes were feeding me shots at the bar.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I'd rather have snapchat than feelings.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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