I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
Randomize
