I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Randomize
