ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Help. Why am I so naked?
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
Randomize
