Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
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