I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
Haha! I swear, it's like I'm talking to Buddha with a slutty agenda. You are so full of wisdom.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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