i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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